The Beaten Path To Squid Roe

In 1997, I discovered the Internet. Like most people at the time AOL was my Service Provider. I liked them. It was easy to navigate through their landscape. Kind of like Internet for Dummies. When I first signed up, they gave me the screen name Philro78@aol.com. Kind of boring, right? After becoming aware of the flexibility of screen name anointment, I began to have fun.

I signed on as BakeMyFish, OnlyOneCannoli, BeefTongue, LOLmyArse, XmasAtKmart, LightsOnNotHome, WeirdGeezer, BagODonuts, TonyToetag, and my favorite . . . BeatenSquid. Entering a chat room (I really enjoyed Men Wit Minds) usually produced a LOL or two from a few of the participants. Occasionally a LMAO, ROFL or ROFLMAO was typed at me. But the best was LOLOL!! because it made me feel like a comedian. Beaten Squid now occasionally hangs out on PokerStars.com, at the 5/10 Play Money tables.

Yesterday I stopped at an Asian Grocery Store in Ellicott City looking for a few items. My favorite station is the Deli with all the different pods of strange foods I know nothing about. Always curious and fairly willing to try practically anything, I asked the nice lady standing behind the counter which of the choices contained squid. She pointed to the extremely large bowls sitting on the table behind me, with cellophane somewhat covering them, flies hovering close by, and sticky tongs to be used for scooping. “The red one,” she uttered. Being polite, I noddingly pretended to understand and turned to see six giant bowls, three of which were “red ones.” My memory of squid is based on a knowledge of calamari, smoked, soup, dried, shredded, and sushi. I do not recall the “red one.”

Feeling foolish, I did the “Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Moe,” slopped up a healthy helping of the “red one” into the container and handed it to the Counter Lady to be weighed. She gave it back to me, and the label read, “Seasoned Squid Slice.” Whew! I did good. There was a 66.7% chance of being wrong.

Well . . . . this stuff is awesome. I guess it’s an appetizer. Sweet and spicy. Really tasty. Low in calories, high in protein; with reasonable sodium. My wife hated it. She thought it was too hot. More for me.

 

So, the next time you venture to your local Asian Grocery Store, go to the Deli counter and pick up some Seasoned Squid Slice. The dish looks something like red-glazed pasta. If in doubt, just ask for the “red one.”

With Love,

Beaten Squid
Guest Contributor